I am realizing that I still have abandonment issues.
Dan and I go to Juliano's to write our Christmas letter. He doesn't like this tradition, We use the template of my holiday script as a starting point. The truth is we have very different styles. I am effluent and descriptive about my life and we don't have much life together,
Yes, this home and our travels, Hawaii.
We can't seem to get one sentence down. I bemoan the fact that 'we' are doomed. We have nothing in common. And after the beer is gone (clue), all chances at a letter are gone too.
I imagine an evening at home as rejection. I am forgotten and no one wants to be with me. Dan doesn't come straight home from work and golfs on his days off, when I am here. This idea hurts. And I doubt his actions have anything to do with me,
Valerie cancels our time together. She cancels me seeing her. . .this seems backwards only I can cancel me.
Issues yes.
It doesn't take much for me to make this case.
And I realize this is the past. I will need to 'flip' this line of thinking.
Namaste sweet Suzy